I Will Always Save You
by white-blank-page2y5
Summary: My name is Fay well its really Natalie. Drusilla turned me into a vampire and she left me. While searching for her dark knight-Spike. I came across a war and next thing I know I am sent back into time face to face with the Slayer and her buddies:Spike/OC
1. Hello

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake up from this dream _

_Don't try to fix me I'm not broken_

_Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide_

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hello, I'm still here, all that's left of yesterday_

_~Hello-Evanescence~_

* * *

><p>Everything changed the minute she disappeared, the minute I knew she left me here alone. I knew I had to find <em>him <em>for her. I knew that's what she wanted from me. I just didn't know where to start. Her last vision wasn't clear and it didn't help that she talks in riddles sometimes. Gah! Why couldn't I have been like the rest of them instead of being the one infested with human emotions and a soul? I'm different, but I guess I always have been.

I remember the day she changed me; the day where I became the living dead. A year ago I walked home from a hard and long day at school. My life started to fall apart. My friends were abandoning me; my family didn't even know who I was anymore. I became invisible-not literally. I saw the world in a different view than everyone else. I craved an adventure, actually anything, that will get me out there in the world. I wanted to travel and see what no one else has seen. I guess what I really wanted was a life to call my own. She gave that to me, a whole new life and it's mine to live. She found me sitting on a swing at dusk. She found me sobbing like a child. She said she smelled so much humanity in me it made her head swirl with pretty lights. When I saw her walking towards me that night I never thought I have seen such a striking, gorgeous girl in my life, and I'm straight. Her light black hair hit her back midway. She wore the strangest but yet beautiful dress I have ever seen and her eyes were so blue it was kind of hard to look in them. Her skin was pale just as if she were a ghost. I couldn't tear my eyes off her. She stood in front of me holding out her tiny hand. All of my instincts told me to run, but my gut told me to stay. I listened to my gut that day. I took her hand in mine.

"Now my little light fairy it's time to get rid of all that bright whiteness and turn it dark. I can make everything feel better my dear… Don't you want to get away from the structure of living and lead a life full of exquisite wonders?" Her voice held an old English accent I haven't heard before. She sounded so sure of herself. It's like she knew exactly what I wanted. How could I have said no to her? I nodded my head and for some odd reason I knew I was going to die, but I gave a talk to myself and it turns out I was fine with dying.

I did die that night, well the physically me, but my soul is still here-within me. I always thought my soul should have left my body and let the demon take a full ride. No, not with me though. I could feel the demon wanting to come out and play, but my soul defeats it every time. Apparently coming from my sire I am the first ever being born into the dark world with a soul. She told me her daddy got cursed with a soul and her dark knight fought for his. I detected the sadness creeping out of her voice-I wasn't a fool. She lost her family, I get it, and she wanted to start a new one. I guess she gave up, since being her first childe I turned out deformed. I don't really mind though I love my sire the best I can and I know she could not love me at all.

I know I need to find him for her, but I still don't know where he's at. Maybe he's with Angel-Drusilla's sire/daddy-in Los Angeles. She did say she last saw Spike in Sunnydale, but Sunnydale is gone it's just a huge hole now. He has to be with Angel, maybe, God I hope so.

I got inside my beautiful silver Shelby GT500 Coupe Mustang once the sun went down. I knew where to go-my destination. Now what did Drusilla say again? Something about blood being spilled onto streets. My sire is a little crazy-heck she has bucket full of crazy. I don't know much about my sire. Only that she was lonely and wanted a new family. She said she will be the new mommy and make her own pretty children. There is something about her though. Drusilla is an extraordinary being. She saw everything differently –heck she saw stars dancing above her when we were inside. I just wish sometimes I could make her proud of me maybe even love me as her childe, but I know I can't. She left me alone in this dark cruel world and the only thing I could think of doing for her is to find Spike-her dark knight.

The drive took hours just to get to Glenwood Springs, Colorado from Frederick, Virginia. I needed to rest. I know I couldn't drive anymore being sleep deprived and all. I got off I-70 and turned into a parking lot where the cheap motel is. I parked my baby under a luscious tree. I don't like her being in the sun too much or else she will lose the new car look. I sighed, turning my car off. I rubbed my eyes a bit and look at the time. Four o'clock in the morning. Great the sun is going to be coming up in two hours and I'm already beat. I got out of my Mustang and locked the doors. I took the wad of cash stuffed into my pocket out. I cursed. I only have about fifty dollars. That will last me for barley half the day. I walked inside the motel. The walls were covered in disgusting torn yellow wallpaper and the front desk is worn out wood. I put down forty dollars on the desk and hit the bell multiple times. Banging noises were coming from the back room.

"I'm coming god dammit! Stop the ringing!" The door opened and stood a middle aged man who looked like he hasn't showered in days. His eyes flared with anger, but once he saw the sight of me he put on a smile. He looked me up and down, and left his gaze on my chest. "Well, well what do we have here? Hello baby, how are you doing?" He wiggled his eyebrows and winked. I swear I almost felt myself throw up. Why do older men have to be complete pigs? I glared at him, not in the mood for playing around.

"Dick my eyes are up here and I just want a room for a day." I pushed my money towards him. He took it with pleasure. He counted the money and turned around grabbing the keys off the hook. Then he pushed the keys towards me. I grabbed the little key with the number thirty-eight on them. I started moving away from the desk until I felt something grab my ass. I swiftly turned around taking hold of the guy's hand and twisting it behind his back. I pushed him up against the wall. He groaned in pain and I could hear his heartbeat quicken. I wanted to dig my fangs into him and drink him dry. Instead I moved his arm up more to the middle of his back. He yelped out.

"Don't you ever fucking touch me again you pervert or else I will cut off your balls and push them so far down your throat you will choke to death." I let go of him and ran off to my room. That was probably the most descriptive killing I have ever said. I couldn't stay there and see the fear in his eyes, which would have made me want to take his blood more; fear is what gets demons started.

I got inside my room, locked the door behind me, and went straight to the bed. I felt the exhaustion weighing on my shoulders. I closed my eyes for a bit. I slowed my breathing trying to get the adrenaline out of my system. I could hear the heartbeats of everyone in this run down motel. I groaned and covered my face with a pillow. I just need to fall asleep and think about 'food' later. I let my mind wander off somewhere else. My body relaxed and sleep took over.

* * *

><p><em>Blood, so much blood, it's everywhere. Even the sky looks bloody. I walked outside during the day. Apparently I could walk outside during the day since the sun is gone which is weird because it's very bright out here. Everyone's face is messed up and twisted in an odd way. I couldn't stare at anyone without having a bad feeling inside of me. Instead of being surrounded by buildings I was at a camp site by a lake. The lake shined in a silvery light, but I didn't understand it's still day time. I looked up towards the sky and the moon was out in all its glory. When did it become night time? My mind tried to make sense of it, but I got distracted by something humming. I stood right where I was at, since I knew the humming will come to me. My sire came out of the forest wearing her favorite white dress. Her hair was down with white clips at the side. She smiled gently at me. <em>

"_My little fairy what have you done?" She waved her hand at the side of me. I glanced down at my side and saw a pile of dead bodies. One of them looked eerily familiar. I sniffed the air by them and they were all human. Oh God what have I done? I looked at Drusilla trying to find the answers. She shook her finger at me. _

"_Tsk, tsk. Naughty little kitten killed all the pesky birdies. The stars are dancing again and they're whispering melodies to me. They tell me your light will be gone and filled with complete darkness. Another thing fairy…they're saying you will bathe in the blood of the Slayer and make her organs your decorations. My light fairy is turning dark, my beautiful childe." She pulled me into a hug something my sire wouldn't do. I can't turn evil what does she mean? I got out of her embrace deciding I should ask her. When I gazed at her she wasn't my sire anymore. I stared into chocolate eyes. I could almost swear I felt my un-dead heart beating. How is he here-alive?_

"_Jarred?" My voice cracked. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. He smiled sweetly at me showing the dimple on his right cheek. I put my hand on his cheek where his dimple is at. I was afraid if I touch him he would disappear. When he didn't I smothered my face into his light blue shirt. I smelled his familiar woods scent. My body shook with longing. "I missed you so much." I whispered in his shoulder._

"_I know. I came back here because you missed me. I came to tell you to let me go-want to know why?" I nodded my head like he had all the answers in the world. "Because I can't stand the thought of a creature disgusting as you should be missing me. You're pathetic and I hate your guts." I cried. Why is he saying such horrible things?_

"_Jarred, please." I tried begging him to stop. He pushed me away. I hugged myself feeling the coldness and hurt rush through me. Hate and disgust covered his eyes._

"_Fuck you! You did this to me! I am dead because of you! Now tell me this how can I possible still love you when you destroyed everything about me? How can I possible love someone so low in life? You are an evil bitch. I don't understand how you could sleep at night knowing you killed me." I saw something shine from his right hand, but I didn't know what it was. My eye sight was blurry from the tears. _

"_I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to hurt you. Please try to understand me that-"He cut me off._

"_You didn't mean to! Ha! That makes me laugh! You had every intention to take my life and dance on my grave. Now I have this incredible opportunity to get my revenge." He spat at me. Then he moved closer towards me. He plunged something inside me. My stomach shot up in pain. He stabbed me. I looked up at him while falling towards the ground. I didn't see any guilt or love on his face. All I saw was hate just hate. What have I done? I landed on the ground feeling my life draining. _

"_I hope you burn in hell." He whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes letting the tears fully fall._

* * *

><p>I gasped for air and sat upright on my bed. I pulled my shirt up looking for the wound, but it wasn't there. <em>Right it was a dream, only a dream.<em> I told myself trying to calm down. When my breathing finally went back to normal I went to the bathroom. I turned on the sink and splashed water on my face. I looked in the mirror and jumped a little when I didn't see my reflection. Right, vampires don't have any reflections. I keep forgetting about that. My memory is blurry in the fact of what I even look like anymore. I sometimes loathe not having a reflection. Not being able to see the flaws on me or getting stuff out of my teeth. I guess that's the price I have to pay being a vampire and all.

I took a nice long hot shower trying to wash away the nightmare. After my shower I got dressed and walked out of my room. My tummy growled at me. I cursed under my breath. When was the last time I ate? I racked my brain for something. I sighed two days ago. It has been two flipping days since I've ate anything. What am I trying to do to myself? Starve to death? That's not the way to go down. I threw my room key on the front desk and went outside quickly. I really didn't want to run into that pervert or else I might kill him this time. The night air breeze hit me. The cold breeze did nothing to my already cold skin. I scanned the parking lot trying to find any stray animal to drink from. I did. I found a cat-my least favorite animal-walking towards my car. Well isn't this my lucky day. I crouched down by my baby and whistle to the cat. The cat walked slowly towards me not knowing if it should trust me. Finally it went under my hand. I grabbed its neck and snapped it in half. I felt my face change into my hunting one. I don't know what this face looks like, but I know it is monstrous. I sank my teeth in the cat's neck and I felt its bitter blood going down my throat. Animal blood doesn't taste anything like human blood, but I just have to deal.

* * *

><p>Welcome to Los Angeles. The sign taunted me. The city of angels lovely. I didn't know where to go. This city is huge. Never been to a big city before. I turned left just guessing where to go. I pushed on the brake and I heard my car screech. I rubbed the headboard telling my baby I was sorry for the abrupt halt. I stared in front me seeing hundreds of monsters out in the street. <em>Just follow the army of demons to the center of battle. <em>I sighed. I am defiantly going to regret this. I lightly pushed on the gas pedal and followed the crowd. Once they stopped I got out of my baby.

"If I don't come back…make sure you will find someone who loves you like I do." I told my Mustang and patted her hood. "Bye baby." I turned around facing the battlefield. No wonder Drusilla said the streets will be filled with blood there's a fricken war going on here. I went inside a building and came out of the back door into an alley. The building next to the one I came out of was a hotel.

I never been present in a war before heck I never saw so much violence other than movies. I saw about four people fighting against all kinds of demons. I ran towards them getting my pistol out of the waistband of my jeans. I pointed my handgun at a demon who was about to slash out at the human. I shot and the demon backed away. I run towards the human boy and knelt by him. I checked him to see if he were alright. His side had a deep stab wound and his shirt was filled with blood. I pressed my hand hard on his wound trying to stop the bleeding.

"It's going to be okay." I reassured the boy. I lied. His wound his too big and he lost a lot of blood. He is not going to make it. I looked more closely at this boy's features. His skin was the color of chocolate and he had no hair. His brown eyes look into mine curious.

"Who are you?" He searched my face for anything that will make him remember who I was. He doesn't know because I don't even know him. I put my hand on the side of his face.

"It doesn't matter who I am. What's your name? I might need to get your friends to tell them you got hurt." I calmly said. I put on a small smile trying to make his death easier. He coughed up blood and stared at me again.

"Gunn. My name is Gunn." He coughed again. I rubbed his shoulder and put more pressure on his wound.

"Okay, Gunn listen to me. Everything is going to be okay. After this battle you will be patched up and running around." I am lame at this, but nonetheless he smiled up at me. He nodded his head. He couldn't speak since it's getting hard for him. I made shush noises and rubbed his shoulder some more. He coughed much roughly now. His eyes didn't show any fear, but he look peaceful.

"Hey. Tell Angel he is one of my best friends and to make sure he will destroy Wolfram and Hart…"He coughed a little more. "…and tell Spike I had the pleasure of getting to know him and fighting beside him. Just tell them they were my family and I will miss them." I didn't notice I was crying until I saw something hit his cheek, but then again it's raining outside. Gunn's heartbeat slowed down and then I heard nothing at all. No breathing, no heartbeat. I laid his body on the ground and closed his eyes.

"Goodbye, Gunn." I whispered. I felt I needed to say some last words before I go straight into the war zone and forget all about him. I turned on one foot and faced the chaos before me. I put my PT 917 pistol (my other baby) back into my waistband and decided not to use a weapon to fight. Why should I anyway? What best weapon is there to fight a demon other than another demon, which is me. I felt tiny pinching around my forehead and cheeks. I let my tongue go over the sharpness of my fangs. I sometimes wish I could know what this face looks like, but then again I would also be afraid of myself.

Battles were washing over each other in waves. I saw a tall man with black spikey hair taking down a dragon while stabbing it through the head during flight. He got off the dragon's back and pulled out one of its tooth- I guess to prove he took down a dragon. I know him. I saw his faded picture in Drusilla's stolen items. He has to be Angel. I started making my way towards him until a demon stepped in front of me. I didn't get a good look at it, since the demon clawed at my face. I stumbled a bit, but I got back on my feet and whipped around him in a second. Its head looked side to side and when it was about to turn around I grabbed his head, and turned it until I heard the sickling crack. The demon dropped lifeless to the floor turning into green goo. I gazed back to where I saw Angel, but he wasn't there anymore.

"Fuck." I mumbled under my breath. I ran into battle taking down demons left to right. I have to admit I used my gun a couple of times.

I got pushed into a brick wall by my own kind. Thank goodness though because I actually know how to kill them. She grinned mockingly at me. I could tell she is a fledging like me, but unlike me she turned a couple of weeks ago. I already knew killing her would be easy as making pie. I let the vampire slut have her share of fun. Now it's my time. She put her hands around my neck trying to break my bones. She let her guard down thinking I'm going to be dead soon. Please. I felt the stake sliding out of my jacket sleeve. All I need to do now is grab it and stab her. My fingers brushed the point of the stake and I bit my lip, since I am still a little sensitive to pointy wood-no pun intended. My skin slightly gets scratched by stakes. I personally hate it. I finally got a hold of the stake and thrust the wooden stake into her un-beating heart. She fell to the floor-oops I mean her ashes fell to the floor. Through the particles of dust remaining in the air I saw him. The one I have been looking for all this time. His peroxide blonde hair was tousled by the battle. His black duster hung on him loosely and he is winning a fight against a demon. I can't believe in midst of an enormous war going on I found him right there in front of me. I started walking towards him ignoring the demons coming after me. I could only see him. He killed the demon in a matter of seconds and went to another one. At that moment I saw it. The most beautiful light I have ever seen; golden white light glowing inside of him. Do all souls look like his? I really hope mine looks exactly similar to his.

Spike sniffed the air and his nostrils flared. He looked up and locked his eyes on me. From far away I could tell he has very intense blue eyes. If I wanted to I could drown in them, but I didn't allow myself. I couldn't. Have to get him because my sire needs him-_his_ sire needs him. When I opened my mouth to speak my chest burst into torturous agony. I fell to the ground clutching where my heart is. What is this? I looked up and saw Spike on the ground doing the same thing. No, this is bad. He's left vulnerable. I slowly started crawling my way towards him, but every time I simply move my body doubles over in pain. An image pressed against my head-a memory of Drusilla. Why am I having a memory of my sire at a time like this? Unless… She's dead. That's right isn't it. My sire runs off and goes gets herself killed while leaving me here to defend myself, and going on this stupid mission to find her dark knight. My anger washed over me and I didn't feel any more pain. I stood up and put my attention on the man in front of me. He still kneeled on the floor starting off into the distance with complete grief showing on his face. I feel kind of bad for Spike losing her has to be taking a toll on him.

A tan demon with long spikes sticking out all over the place went behind Spike. I stared in horror. I can't lose Spike he's my only hope to survive in this world.

"No!" I roared. Spike didn't hear me at all. How could he not? The demon got a long piece of wood. I sprinted with all my might, but I was too late. The demon plunged the piece of wood into Spike's heart, and all that stood was Spike's ashes. _This cannot be happening._ I repeated those four words in my head. I turned in a circle seeing so much death before me. What do I do now? I failed my sire and I failed my vampire kin. I have nowhere else to go. I might as well fight more demons, and hopefully one of them will kill me so I could join Drusilla and Spike.

Blue hair caught my sight. She stood in front of millions of demons. Her red leather suit darken by each drop of rain. I swear I saw blue cracks going all over her body. She caught me staring and she cocked her head in confusion.

"I've seen you before. Not here; in another time." She screamed in pain holding her sides. I walked closer to her worried. "No stay away! You don't belong here! Somewhere else-I've seen you somewhere else. All these human emotions are washing over me. I hate them. I can't stand them. You!" She pointed at me. "I know you." Her skin crackled showing blue light. She threw her head back and screamed. Blue light erupted out of her throwing me backwards. I covered my eyes from the blue light and my head hit something hard causing me to black out.

* * *

><p>Something wet hit my nose. I rolled over and groaned. Again the wetness hit my cheek.<p>

"Five more minutes." I slurred into the hard cold floor. Wait a minute floor? I sat upright in panic. I rubbed my head from the blow I've taken. I scanned the room I was in. Everything look cement. I stood up and slowly walked towards the door. Once I put my hand around the handle everything that happened a couple of minutes ago rushed right back into me. Where did the blue hair girl go? And what the hell was she rambling about? I opened the door and faced a cemetery and the night sky. The most important question is: Where the fuck am I?


	2. The World Outside

_Look through my eyes_

_Maybe a part of the old me is left inside _

_Now hear my cry, there's no words beneath_

_There's no in between, there's no alibi to make this right_

_No behind the scenes, everything you sees what you get_

_~The World Outside-Eyes Set To Kill~_

* * *

><p><em>Where am I?<em> The thought races through my head. One minute I was standing in Los Angeles in a middle of a war and the next I'm in a cemetery. Nothing seems quite right with those two equations. I sniffed the air thinking that might give me a better understanding of where I am. Different scents reached me. Some demon, human, animals and a powerful scent that brings shivers down my spine. Hmm I wonder what that means. I shrugged it off and started walking away from the creepy cemetery. Just because I am vampire doesn't mean I like hanging around with death. Nope. Not for me. Maybe this soul made me extra the freak? It's a theory to look into.

I licked my lips. _I just ate didn't I?_ I sighed. Probably all that fighting and teleporting (I think that what happened with the blue chick-she teleported me somewhere.) took a number on me. I'm exhausted and hungry. I stumbled into a dark alley and rested by the dumpster. I need to feed soon. I creep towards the entryway of the alley, but stayed in the dark. Few humans passed by me and my mouth watered eagerly, but none smelled bad-evil. When I thought all else fails I spotted the perfect human. He wore a very dark blue sweater with green strips going across in the middle. His black hair was uncombed and a bit long. He walked nosily down the sidewalk with a guilty expression on his face. I took one sniff of him and knew he was my dinner. He smelt awful-horrible to the bone. Maybe he's a serial killer or a wife beater? I couldn't tell, but he probably done something terrible to smell that bad.

He stepped in front of the entryway and I grabbed hold of his shirt pulling him deeper into the alley. I covered his mouth so he won't scream. He struggled against me; Punching me in the side continuously. I gritted my teeth more in annoyance than pain. I pushed him on the wall and held him there with half my strength. I felt his hand brush my leg, but it kept shaking. I looked down and saw his hand reaching for something in his pants. I put my hand in the side of his pants and brought up a stake. I glared at it and threw it far away. I cannot believe this lowlife knew about my kind and how to fucking kill them. That brought my game face on. I turned his head to the side giving me a nice open space to dig my fangs in. His heart pounded through my ears. I sunk my teeth into a nice juicy vein. Blood spilled into my mouth. I moaned in pleasure.

Human blood is like ecstasy for me. You are always high when drinking their blood, but once you come off the ride you feel like shit. I always feel guilty for almost killing humans. I don't kill them; not even the bad ones. I come close yeah, but I stop and patch them up in the end. Letting them walk back home safely.

I stopped drinking this human's boy blood. His heartbeat is faint, but strong. I knew he would live. I licked off the remaining blood from his neck. I took out a bandage from my pocket. Still not believing myself I am letting another bad person go free. I sighed oh well maybe this will show him not hurt anyone ever again. I glanced at the boy and his dark brown eyes stared at me curiously. I put the white bandage on his neck and used medical tape to keep it in place.

"Don't stare at me like that. I'm sorry that I attacked you and what not. Just go home and forget about the whole incident." I started to turn around until the boy grabbed my wrist keeping me in place. I let out a frustrated breath. "Look just go off and run back home or else I might actually finish the job." I growled trying to prove my point, but my threatening didn't last that long.

"Xander!" I heard a high pitch voice coming from the alley entryway. Great, this is just fucking great. I turned to face the girl ready to growl and bare my teeth so she could leave. I caught her scent. The same scent I smelled in the cemetery-all power and chilling to the bone. I felt fear rising up in the pit of my stomach. Her golden blonde hair lay nicely on her shoulders and she held a stake in her right hand.

I wasn't in the mood to fight not at all. I should try explaining to this girl what is actually going on. I started to open my mouth until her fist connected with my jaw. Fuck! That hurt like a bitch! Who the hell is this girl and how is she amazingly strong?

"No one gets a chunk out of my friends." She kicked me in the side. 'Oomph' came out of my mouth. "You are seriously going to pay for that." I saw the stake above me. So this is how I'm going to die again? At least I will be with my sire and her other childe. I closed my eyes waiting for the stake to plunge into my dead heart, and set me free.

"Don't! Buffy, don't she wasn't trying to kill me. Listen to me, maybe we should talk to her." I heard un-flattering grumbling noises. "Buff, I know. It's just she seems different from the rest like Angel different, and you know how much I dislike saying this." Angel? They know Angel? I tried to open my mouth to ask if they were talking about the same Angel in my head. I didn't get a chance. I felt something hard hit my skull and the next thing I know I am falling into blackness again.

* * *

><p>My head pounded from the pain I endured, and the loud talking didn't help my headache any better.<p>

"Maybe we should just kill it and be done." The same high pitch voice I heard in the alley spoke. What did that boy call her Bunny? Betty? Beefy? I don't know. All I know is I don't like her one bit.

"Buffy we shouldn't maybe she is like Angel? I mean she didn't kill Xander or anything. All she did was nibble on him a bit and put a bandage on her own bite mark. Now, tell me what kind of vampire does that?" A different girl's voice spoke. A little nasal, but a bit comforting. Her voice reminds me when I use to be human. Huh? I guess the girl in the alley name is Buffy. Wow defiantly off the mark. I heard stomping going on.

"Or maybe she was just playing Xander around. That _soulless _thing likes playing with her food before the big meal." I heard her puff out air. I kind of wanted to snort in amusement. I strained to let my ears hear more. One…two…three…four…five…hearts were beating in the room. A little jingle came from the left and a door closed shut. _Make those six heartbeats. _

"Got him, but I just don't see why we couldn't wake up the girl and ask her ourselves." Yet another girl spoke, but she seemed bored. How many girls are there? I heard muttering and I made out the words perfectly.

"Sodden Scooby's thinking they could come into my bloody home and drag me out like they own me. Not bloody likely." He muttered. His voice held a British accent-nothing like Drusilla's though he's accent is a bit lazy. I listened to him more, but nothing popped out. No heartbeat and no breath. He's not human. _Vampire_.

"Stop your mopping and tell us if this thing has a soul or not." Buffy snapped at the vampire. I heard his unpleasant words under his breath. I wanted to giggle, but I knew I had to keep quiet to learn where I am and who they are?

"Right-well your vamp here has a soul could smell it a mile away. I'll let myself out now." I heard multiple gasps in the room, and harsh whispers I could easily make out.

"How did she even get one?" I was born with it, like every human dumb ass. How the hell am I supposed to know why I still have my soul as a vampire? I answered the stupid question in my head.

"I wonder if she got cursed like Angel." This time the boy spoke-the one I fed off from. Xander? Is that what Buffy called him? Cursed. Angel. He _is_ talking about the same Angel I know. He is the only vampire who got cursed with a soul.

"Or maybe Spike is lying?" Spike…? Spike! What-how-when…?

"I don't think so, Spike." I opened my eyes to see Buffy blocking the bleached blonde. His black duster stood proudly on him and his scent is strong. Seeing him standing there alive brought a wonderful, but quite an eerie feeling. I saw the man in front of me die and turned into dust. How is it possible for him to be alive again? What the fuck is going on? Many questions were building inside of my poor head, but I didn't speak each one out loud. Spike growled at Buffy and he turned around angrily catching me watching. I closed my eyes tightly hoping he will not tell them I am awake.

"What do you want Slayer? I told you what you needed to know, didn't I? Demon girl said I could go once I answered. I did. Now I'm leaving." Spike challenged Buffy with his voice. Buffy is the slayer? Fuck, I am royally screwed. Wait a minute. I knew about her, didn't I? I tried to re call a memory. That's right. Once I found those drawings in the overflowing pile of Drusilla's stuff. She explained almost everything to me-just the facts I needed to know really. The memory is re-playing in my head as if it happened yesterday.

* * *

><p><em>The stench of dirt and musk filled the air around me. Drusilla went out for dinner leaving me 'home alone.' I slowly walked around her-I mean our makeshift home. Underground surrounded by dirt. It seems more of a cave, but I know we are under a crypt. The stench of rotten dead bodies isn't that far away, it's just right above us. I groaned at the thought of living under dead humans. It's just not sane, but then again Drusilla isn't quite sane either. I went towards the pile of stuff my sire keeps in the dark corner. She told me many times not to touch them. Today, my curiosity won. I rummaged through the stuff looking at the many dated fabrics. A loud clattering noise fell on the ground. I looked down and saw a metal box with blue lines crisscrossing each other. I reached for the box and opened the lid. What I saw surprised me. I didn't know my sire is an artist. There were many drawings of people I have never seen before. A picture stood out from the rest of them though. I picked it up and study it. The drawing was of a man. He stared darkly at his hands with a dark substance covering them. His hair curled around his head and his eyes shone with a hint of humor, but a stab of distress. I couldn't stop staring at his eyes-so much emotion in them. <em>

"_What are you doing?" I didn't even hear Drusilla's voice. I turned around quickly hiding the picture behind me. _

"_N-nothing." I cursed at myself for stuttering in panic. Her eyes scanned at the floor and her eyes flared with anger. "I'm sorry! I was curious and-and I just wanted to know why this stuff is so bad for me to see." I looked at the ground, not willing myself to see Drusilla's expression. I know I am done for; that this was the last straw. She is going to lock me up and let me starve for as long as she wants. The next words out of her mouth I did not expect at all. _

"_All you had to do was ask, dearie." Drusilla gracefully walked over to me and took the picture I was hiding out of my hands. She stared at the content and a sad smile reached her lips._

"_Ah. I see my fairy found a drawing of my dark knight. Beautiful, Spike made the walls crumble down. There was always something different about him. They whispered taunting things to me, but now I know the birdies were trying to warn me. Warn me he was falling in love with the Slayer and his darkness will be consumed with light-with a soul." I looked at the drawing once more and I could tell he meant something special to my sire, by the way she was talking about him. _

"_Sire, is Spike your childe like me?" I asked. She looked at me bleakly. _

"_So filled with grief little William. I stop the anguish. He was lovely creature never thought I could make another one like him. But here you are fairy smelling just as he smells filled with a pesky soul." She shook her finger in front of me. I stared at my shoes shameful that I have a soul instead a full-fledged demon in me. She picked up the box and pulled out another drawing of a girl sleeping. For some reason I could picture her as a red head. Her red hair met with her shoulder and she slept peacefully. My sire chuckled. _

"_Little witch. She put the light back into daddy." She threw the picture aside and took out another one of a girl. Her hair crowned her face like a halo a floating on an angel's head. Her bunny like nose caught my attention. I wonder if her nose twitches. I heard a low menacing growl coming from Drusilla. _

"_Slayer." Venom dropped off the words. _

"_What's a Slayer?" In a matter of minutes my sire's face darkened. _

"_She ruined everything. Turned my dark knight into good. She took my family away. My head burns with her light. Make it stop! Make her stop!" She whimpered. I took my sire in my arms and put her head against my chest letting her sob away her sorrows. Sometimes she gets into these moods where everything around her is crashing and she can't help herself, but fall. During these moods I am the one who takes care of her instead the other way around._

* * *

><p>I shook myself away from the memory. My sire is-<em>was<em> a child. I see that now, and it took me this long just to figure it out. I felt my throat tighten up. Drusilla is gone; she left me.

"No you're not leaving. You are staying right here and you will be telling us what you know of this girl. First question: How the hell did she get a soul? Is she cursed?" Buffy's voice broke through my mental breakdown.

I opened my eyes once again not caring if they see I am awake. I stared at the Slayer. She looks older then the picture I saw of her. I turned my view to the left seeing five heads staring at Buffy and Spike. The boy I drank from still had the bandage I put on him. He doesn't look evil at all just…a dork. Maybe my nose is off or something. I felt a lot of power coming from the red head standing next to Xander-I think that is his name. In my memory Drusilla called her a witch and she looks like the girl in the drawing a bit older though. The witch held onto a very small hand. I gaze at her partner. She had pale dirty blonde hair and she was slouching. The air around her sung with pureness. There was a man standing behind the counter. His light brown hair combed back and his glasses sat perfectly on him. His arms were crossed over his chest and he stared intensely at Buffy. Another girl took a hold of Xander's arm and held on. She had her hair in a wavy ponytail and it was blondish brown color. Out of six humans in the room I only counted two men. Spike doesn't count-he's not a human. I wonder what those two guys do around a bunch of women. I shook my head in disgust by the image I brought onto myself.

"How the bloody hell am I supposed to know that? S'not like I got super powers all of a sudden and go around telling wankers where they got their soul from, you stupid bint. If you really wanna know then ask her yourself. You're sleeping beauty has finally awoken." Spike's voice got higher, but darker. Seems impossible.

He waved his hand right in front of me to prove his point I am awake. _Great, thanks bro thought you had my back there._ Everyone's attention turned on me. I rolled my eyes at the dramatic effect. Buffy walked up towards me slowly. I guess to make me terrified or what not. To tell the truth yeah I could feel the power roll off her and yeah my instincts are telling me to run or attack, but she doesn't scare me. She looks more of a preppy little cheerleader than a big scary Slayer. I chuckled. Couldn't help myself. Picturing her in a cheer outfit while fighting the forces of darkness is hilarious. Her eyes went wide out my outburst. Then her stare turned into a glare. Ha! I made a rhyme! Clap, clap knew I was still the poet I used to be.

"What are you laughing at?" She harshly said. The anger in her was easy to see, but something behind her eyes screamed at me. I tried to pry deeper, but I knew she would punch me if I didn't answer soon enough. I put on my best-I don't give a fuck-smirk.

"You." I answered simply. I glanced where Spike stood and his face showed amusement. My answer earned me a slap to the face. It stung yeah, but it was nothing against Drusilla's 'playtime.' I glared at the Slayer.

"Buffy. Enough." The middle-aged man with the glasses warned the Slayer. He also had a British accent. Different from Spike's and Drusilla's. A bit stuffier. She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. Really? What is she, eight? I rolled my eyes at her childish gesture. I looked at Spike again and I saw him sniff the air. His nostrils flared. I sighed. He got the same reaction when he first saw me in the battle field. I stared at him more. His eyes were shining with confusion. Huh? That's a new reaction. Buffy let out a long exaggerated breath.

"Okay. I'll be nice." She grimace at the sight of me. "We are not going to hurt you unless you give us a reason too. We just want some answers. Will you cooperate with us?" She had her arms crossed over her chest and glared at me. Does she expect me to say yes with that look she's giving me? Ah hell no!

"If you untie me then yes I will spill my life story to you." She rolled her eyes. I saw her fist clenched in annoyance. I smirked at that.

"Someone else reason with this thing!" Buffy stalked out the door fuming. I chuckled darkly.

"What she can leave, but I can't?" Spike asked. I glance up at him and he stared right back. Could his eyes get anymore blue?

"Spike, Buffy is just uh-you know going through a lot. I don't think she could handle a random vampire with soul. Reminds her too much of Angel." The witch spoke.

Something just clicked in my head. If the Slayer is with her friends and her watcher still, and Spike is here-looks like he's helping them-then they have to be in Sunnydale. I knew where I was at, but that doesn't make any sense at all. Sunnydale is gone. Nothing is there. _She last saw Spike in Sunnydale. _Holy fucking cow! There is no absolute way that could possibly happen! My eyes went wide just at the thought of it. "_I've seen you before. Not here; in another time."_ I swear if I were born a balloon I would have popped right there. The damn blue haired girl sent me back in time when she exploded in bright blue light! Fudge! How the hell am I supposed to go back to my regular time? Maybe this is a good thing. It has to be right? Yes, it is because in my time I didn't have enough time to save Spike now I do. Drusilla is still alive also, so I could save her. I smiled at the thought of my sire still alive and her dark knight.

"Uh earth to souled vampire. Hello! Anyone in there?" Xander waved his hands in front of my face. I glowered at his hand and I felt the growl coming up before I could stop it. He backed away slowly and he was soaking in fear. My tummy made grumbling noise. Oh come on! I just fed not too long ago. Stupid fear, stupid humans, and stupid bloodlust.

"I think you should stay away. We don't know what kind of diseases questionable vampires carry." The girl with her hair in the ponytail said. Is she serious? My gaze stayed on her for a minute until a snort came from my opposite side. My attention went to Spike.

"Doesn't work that way love. Vampires don't carry diseases, we're immune." Spike put on the cockiest smile I have ever seen and to make it even cockier he started to smoke.

"Spike please put that out before all of us humans get cancer." The witch said nicely and patiently. Spike looked at her for a minute thinking. He put his cigarette back in his mouth.

"No. You wankers need to remember I hate you all." He replied. He started walking out the door. Don't go. I mentally said in my head, but he stopped. His head looked over his shoulder with a confused expression. His eyebrows were pulled together. "Did you say something?" He muttered looking straight at the witch.

"No. Wh-" She got cut off by Spike walking out and slamming the door behind him. I didn't miss the look he gave me before he left. He stared right at me with a disturbing and confusing face. He cocked his head to the side and smirked. He smirked! Not a friendly smirk more of a-I'm going to get you later-smirk. He's going to kill me I am sure of it. I turned my attention to the witch. She stared at the door appalled. She shook her head and faced me. Bringing up her fake smile-I guess to make me feel safe or what not.

"Hi. We should get to friendlier bases. My name is Willow. What's yours?" She asked standing in front of me. Now I see her eyes are a forest green. I always wanted green eyes.

"My name is no one's damn business." I replied with an innocent voice. I put a grin to make it even perfect. Willow took a step back and glanced to her friends for help. Xander walked over to me. Great.

"Look we just want your name and how you got your soul that's it. We won't bother you and we will let you go." I stared into his light brown eyes. I felt my eyebrows pinch together while I think. I can't trust them. They work with the Slayer and my sire did tell if I run into her and her friends I have to kill them. It doesn't matter if they are human I can't trust them and I have to kill them.

"How do I know if you're telling the truth?" Xander licked his lips and his hands shook a little. I sniffed the air. He's nervous. Well good, he should be.

"You let me live and bandage me up. I think I owe you for that." He stated letting his eyes land on my own. I thought it over. He's right. He does owe me sort of. I drank his blood because I thought he smelled evil. I didn't kill him, the guilt would have eaten me alive, and it turns out he is good no evil inside of him just working with the Slayer. Basically he doesn't owe me anything, but who am I to say no? I sighed-I've been doing a lot sighing lately. I brought my gaze up to each human eyes trained on me.

"My name is Fay, and I don't know how I got a soul. One day I just woke up and it was there within me." I explained. Okay, I gave them half the truth, but hey I am a vampire after all. The five humans looked at each other sharing an understanding look. Xander nodded his head and waved his hand to his follow mates.

"It's getting late guys." He started towards the door and the three women followed him. Fucker! I should have known he would be lying. He works for the Slayer after all. I glared at his backside imagining a painful death. I should have killed him when I had the chance.

Willow almost went out the door, but stopped. She turned her head to the middle-age guy.

"Giles aren't you coming?" The middle-age man known as Giles shook his head.

"No, I think I should keep a watchful eye on our hostage." Giles announced while staring at me. Willow slightly nodded her head and left. I felt Giles eyes on me still. I huff a breath of air.

"Take a picture it lasts longer." I let the annoyance drip off of each word. I heard muttering going on and Giles looked away cleaning his glasses. He turned around suddenly focused on a book. I rolled my eyes. Men. I swear they're all the same. My stomach went into knots, and my blood ran cold. If I'm truly in the past then…I couldn't let my mind dwell on _him_ not even for a second.

"Yo Giles mind telling me what today is…also the year? I think the Slayer hit my head pretty hard." I shouted. I know he could hear just fine, but I need to have some fun. I heard cloth go against glass. Is he wiping is glasses again?

"Uh-yes-well it's October twenty-third, two thousand and one." He answered while stifling a yawn. Everything in the room seemed to stop for a minute or maybe it has to do with me not breathing. I let out the breath I was holding. Vampires don't technically have to breathe, but I just miss the normalness of it.

Two thousand one, I cannot believe I am three years ahead or behind or…? I just confused myself with this whole time traveling thing. Wait? Did he just say October twenty-third? My mind stopped and if my heart were pumping it would have stopped too. Two months. In two months my life is going to be ruined. Unless I stop it-stop him. My eyes started to sting and the back of my throat burned. Blue haired girl sent me to the perfect time. Too bad I wasn't in my hometown-no actually that's good it will be too weird if I saw my human self. I just need a plan to get out of here and out these ropes. I struggled with the ties and my skin burnt from the friction the ropes did. I can't believe I am going to be defeated by ropes! Something clicked in my head. Right, I have my trusty pocketknife. I reached for my back pocket with a little difficulty, but I felt the familiar shape. I opened the pocket knife and heard the 'swoosh' noise it gave. I mentally picked up my head seeing if Giles heard my knife. He's head laid on top of a book. I saw his figure move up and down slowly. The little old man is sleeping on the job. This just makes it too easy. I started cutting away at the bindings. I felt the ropes around me loosen. I stood up hastily and threw the ropes on the ground. I opened the door making sure the bell doesn't make any noise, and I silently closed it behind me.

The streets of Sunnydale were silent. Only drunken humans walked the sidewalks, but demons stalked most of them. I never noticed how many demons stayed in Sunnydale, but then again the Hellmouth lives here. I spotted a payphone about a mile away and went straight towards it. I opened the payphone door and closing it carefully behind me. I put in the fifty cents and dialed the number I memorized by heart. My stomach fluttered against each ringing noise. The ringing noise stopped and someone static went on. My whole body froze in nerves.

"Hello?" The familiar deep throaty voice brought a pang to my dead heart. My eyes started to sting again I couldn't help the tears sliding down my cheeks. I breathed deeply in the phone and tried to clear my throat.

"Jarred." My voice cracked. The tears kept falling with the realization he is alive. A couple of silent seconds passed.

"Natalie? Is that you, babe?" I nodded my head trying my hardest not to sob. It dawned on me he couldn't see I was nodding my head.

"Yeah, it's me." I whispered.

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" I heard the worry in his voice. I felt the corners of lip lift upward. He was always so worried some. I mean is-_is_ worried some. I cleared my throat again. He always knows when I've been crying. He's stupid sixth-sense to my emotions.

"Everything's fine. I just-uh I missed you a lot, and wanted to hear your voice is all." I tried my hardest to sound like my old self; the one who fell deeply in love with Jarred, and all she could think of is only him. I heard his low chuckle and my chest felt a warm tingling sensation.

"We just saw each other yesterday, and you're going to see me tonight after your day with Rachel. Speaking of Rachel aren't you supposed to be with her now? Don't tell me she ditched you again?" My head spin with memories. I landed on a memory he was talking about. That's right me and Rachel went to the mall, and she flirted with every guy that came her way; later that night Jarred had a special surprise just for me. If I wasn't cold or dead my cheeks would probably be heating up by that memory.

"I can't wait for tonight." I let my voice dip with sultry. "And yeah I'm with Rachel." I made sure to sound a bit annoyed because on that day I really was. He chuckled yet again. My head swirled with his chuckling.

"Me either babe, and what is Rachel doing now?" I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"What isn't she doing? She found herself a group of boys and I am surprised she isn't humping them by now." That earned me a laugh. It's been so long since I've heard him laugh. His laugh echoed blowing horns into my ears. I smiled enjoying the sound of his laughter. Nonetheless I felt the tears dripping down my chin.

"That explains why you aren't using her phone. The question is where's yours?" He asked with a simple curiosity. I have to tell. No, I have to warn him, not tell him.

"I accidently left my phone at home. Jarred..?" My voice sounded so small. I wonder if my voice could get any smaller.

"Yeah?" I could tell by his voice he is cocking his head. He always does every time he says yeah ending on a questioning tone.

"I love you." I sound human-Too human…

"I love you too, babe. You sure everything is alright?"

"Yeah I'm sure. Just uh whatever happens between us or whatever might happen just remember I cannot be truly mad at you. Just remember I will always love you and we will get through everything together. Just you and me against the world. Whatever hurtful words I say to you I don't mean them at all. Please remember that. I don't mean them and I only want you to stay by my side always. I love you Jarred, I love you so much." By now my voice started to waver and my tears started spilling out my eyes. I gasped for air even though I don't need it. "Please just promise me when we get into a heated fight you won't rush into your car and drive away. You have to stay with me and try to work things out. Promise me!" I cried out.

"I promise, Natalie, I swear by my mom's grave when we fight I will stay there to get through it. I cannot think of leaving you. I love you Nat, don't you get that? I will always love you no matter what. Now, please tell me what this is all about?" He sounded panicked. I wiped the tears away.

"Nothing, it's nothing. Bad dream I had last night that's all. I uh…better get going Rachel is giving me the-hurry it up girl I don't have all day-look. Oh and please don't mention this talk tonight. I don't want to be reminded of the nightmare I had okay?" I should have thought about my past self before I dialed his number, but I wasn't thinking. I needed to hear his voice for one last time, and I needed to warn him. I hope this warning-this promise-is enough.

"Okay, babe. I will see you tonight. I love you, Nat. Have fun with Rachel." He spoke softly as if he were speaking to a wounded child. I love it when he talks to me in his soft voice. All of my insides felt the warmness. My breath hitched. I heard another chuckle. I smiled despite myself. The other end clicked and silence filled the small payphone booth. I stared at the black phone in my hand.

"I love you." I murmur. I stumbled out of the booth and went to the cemetery out of instinct. I sunk down and putting my head against the cold stone. I couldn't move. I just sat there gasping for air. My heart felt it got ripped out, cut open, stich back together, and put back into my chest. I covered my face into my hands letting my walls fall down. Sorrow consumed me and I couldn't stop the sobs coming out freely.

Why wasn't I born without emotions? I hate it. If I was truly a vampire I wouldn't be crying over a dead lover-who isn't dead now, but still. If I was a true vampire, a true monster I could care less, but no. My soul stayed with me and so did my emotions. Everything stayed. I am more human than I am vampire. The only difference is I need blood to survive.

I got up and walked towards anything I could rest during the day. I tuned the world out listening to my misery-my wrenching heartbreak. Thought this time would be easier hearing his voice healthy and carefree. No, hearing him made this achy feeling worse. I slowly walked towards shelter and I didn't notice silent footsteps following me. I was too out of it to even notice. Maybe I'm zombie instead of a vampire.

**A/N: I don't use a Beta all of my mistakes are my own. I hope you like this story. I promise you the next one should be quite interesting ;). Please review and tell me what you think :)**


End file.
